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14.2.08

Male or Female?

My nick is Frank, but I am a female past 30. I too had a question from an unfamiliar chatter “male/female?” She too was a female and the first time we spoke with each other was on an English chat line. The topic was, why are there so few women on line? Later we've discovered that we are in the same line of work, she too is working at a software development company only she works from English to German and I from English to Hungarian.
The German language provided another common element between us since in our family background is German but at home it was only with my Grandmother that I ‘had’ to converse in German and Hungarian with the rest of the family. We've shortly switched the conversation from English to German although my grammar is atrocious – she got a kick out of my mistakes – but the use of the language reached layers within me that have not been visited since my childhood.

Later weave discovered that she lives in Vienna and I in Budapest. This meant that we were not terribly far from each other in the physical realm. We spoke everyday then and do still. There was so much kindness and gentleness in Gerda that each day when we spoke for a half an hour to an hour, I always felt refreshed, recharged. I could not believe that one could have such good friend. My boyfriend often mentioned that he has a much better time with me after I've talked to Gerda.

Approximately a year ago Gerda invited me to go for a shopping trip to Vienna. She offered me the opportunity to stay at her home, but asked that I do not bring my boyfriend because she would like to spend the week-end shopping for “girl stuff” and having a man around we could not talk to our heart's content.

She was exactly as she described herself, tall, lean, blond and smiling. We laughed a lot, shopped for especially lingerie, ate and drank wonderful things. In the evening something had happened that I never thought of before nor anticipated now During a conversation she suddenly kissed me fully on the mouth and I returned the kiss wholeheartedly. Somehow, almost with unpronounced naturality our intimate emotional relationship had turned physical. Humans are a strange breed, body and soul sometime intermingle. The mutual affection we had for each other also worked for us in bed.

Gerda had always preferred strictly women and now she was in love with me. I love her also, but at the same time feel somewhat schizophrenic. I don't feel as though I were a lesbian or bisexual in the least bit. Other women don't interest me, nor do I look at attractive women any differently than I had before. My relationship with my boyfriend is unchanged, we still understand and love each other as before, although he doesn't know our secret.

Anyway, I did not become a lesbian, but when I cross the border at Hegyeshalom – I've visited Gerda several times since – I transform completely. I think only in German, think only of Gerda and I can hardly wait to feel her embrace. Returning home it is the same thing only in reverse. After hearing the border guard's Hungarian greeting I only think of my boyfriend and my family. This changes only when our e-mails with Gerda become increasingly passionate. Then I know it is time for me to visit Vienna.

The net is dangerous territory. This should be engraved at the factory on every monitor. Yet, I am still happy.

With affection,
Frank (who is really Judy)

Love at First Type

Greetings from Arizona,
I have recently completed the e-book and anticipate the softback release this month of "love At First Type: An Online Romance Based On A True Story.

What is it about?
In April of 1996, Kathy's life was changed when she met Jack. Two people meet on the internet with vast differences and many commonalties. They're 1000 miles apart, 24 years apart, and both married at the time they meet. They find themselves chatting more and more about their horrible marriages and soon begin to wonder if they would do better together. There is no guarantee that if they leave their spouses that they can build an everlasting love themselves. Is it worth going against all those odds? Is there such a thing as Love At First Type?

Read an excerpt from the book:
Most men who flirted with Kathy were just jerks and wanted cybersex, but there were some that she had a brotherly type of relationship with. She was not interested in falling in love with anyone else. Although, Repairman seemed to be different, was he? It was almost like love at first type, but how could innocent conversation turn into feelings?"

"Jack didn't believe that there was any chance of him truly falling in love with someone else... until tonight. What did this Sassy have that astounded him so much? She was just another woman he had met online... or was she? He had conversed thirty minutes with her, and could not rationalize the radiance he felt when she stepped into the chat room."

Jack's eyes opened and the first thing he saw was the most beautiful woman in the world lying next to him. How lucky he was to have her with him. The red highlights in her hair looked like rubies nestled in soft velvet.

His right hand extended to her hair. He softly touched the rubies and velvet with his fingertips. She was lovelier than any other princess had ever been. His hand took the covers and moved them towards the end of the bed.

His lips yearned to explore every inch of her. His eyes saw beauty. His heart felt love. He throbbed with need. He didn't know how much more of being a gentleman he could take. His desires were becoming harder and harder to control.

To read more visit the the website of the author: Epstein LaRue
http://www.epsteinlarue.com

Love Has No Distance

Our story is different. Dale is from the US and I am from Hong Kong. Dale and I met on ICQ and over time, we fell in love with each other. Sounds pretty wild huh? But the story ending will probably even surprise you more.

On June 8th, 1999, I came to the US to meet him. It is an amazing experience, even now I can still remember how sweet I felt when I saw him for the first time, I wish the clock will stop and we can just enjoy that moment without any interruption from the outside world. His first touch, first smile, our first eye contact, our first kiss - everything made me feel like I was the luckiest person on earth. We just feel so good about our relationship.

On June 18th something that change our lives happened. There was a wedding ceremony and we were the two main person involved in it. So here I am, living in a pretty house with a big yard with my sweetheart Dale. Not to forget I have two step-daughters, Chelsea and Hillary. We live happily together and I am enjoying the life here. Our story inspires myself that, love has no distance.

Feel free to take a look of our home page:

One Percent Chance

Viktor and I have been together for nine months. He is 16 and I am 15. We met last May on the chat. He seemed very pleasant the first time we spoke and a few days later he called me on the phone. We talked for a long time and it turned out that both of us go to Honved Square frequently. He plays basketball and I visit friends there. One afternoon we've decided to meet there. I can still see the scene in front of me as I went over to him and told him I was the girl from the chat that he spoke to on the phone a few days ago. He was tall and muscular - I could hardly take my eyes off of him. We went for a walk but as it was getting very colt outside we headed for the West End Shopping Center downtown. We sat on a bench and talked until late in the evening.

I just stared and stared as he talked and sitting there on a bench in front of a shoe store in the West End I realized that I was hopelessly in love. When we came out of the building late at night it was VERY cold. He saw that I was cold and put his arm around me. I've been waiting for this all night. He walked me to my girlfriend's house where I was spending the night. That was where we had our first, unforgettable kiss.

Unfortunately the love was not mutual. He liked me but he was not in love with me. A few girls had played with his emotions in the past and he didn't want to be disappointed again. He promised himself that he would never be vulnerable in front of another girl and allow himself to fall in love. In spite of all this, we've spent two beautiful months together. Then he broke up with me and said that as much as he would like to he can't fall in love with me. I thought I was going to die.

My whole world turned and I just wanted to cry but I did not want him to know how hurt I was - he didn't deserve that. I took a couple of tranquilizers as I could not fall asleep otherwise that night. I cried constantly and thought my heart would break. I was like a zombie and thought I would go crazy.

The next day he left me a message on the phone and asked that I call him. I did. He told me on the phone that he realized that he loved me. I could not resist my heart and took him back. We've been together since and things could not be better. We love each other and are making plans. I feel that this love is more than just puppy love and both of us have found in the other the person we've been dreaming about.

I live at school now as the arguments at home were constant, but Viktor was always protecting and encouraging me. I'll never forget what a gift I received from the internet. If it wasn't for that I would still be waiting for the knight in shining armor.

They say that there is a one percent chance that someone could find a partner on the internet. It worked for us and for that I will be eternally grateful.

'Kitten'

Practice Date

One of my favorite things about him is his ready smile. My first conversation with him went like this: he popped up on my IM screen and asked if I wanted to talk. And he smiled. A colon and half a parentheses.

Reading his profile, I found I was safe. I was across the country from him and he was 17. I tend to like older, think Robert Redford, not young Leonardo DiCaprio. Just to be absolutely sure though, I told him what I told everyone online. "Sure, just don't flirt with me or ask me out. "

And we talked. Thru the seasons. We talked about philosophy, problems and silliness. Shared brief glimpses of the soul in trivial conversation. And exchanged smiles and hugs. Online. We talked through out his transition from high school and college. We talked through out my transition from captured submissive in an abusive relationship with someone older - slightly - 33 - to freedom and recapturing true self. Finding all our strange coincidences and connections.

And I moved back to my home state late january before last - to one town away from him. In the months that followed, I continued the growth I'd started in CA since breaking up with my ex, regaining my freedom and independence, my sense of self. He was now -and is - attending Maryland.. And we continued talking. We had started flirted. Which, he is usually against, unless it it leads to something - a relationship. But he found himself flirting with me. I'm fairly shy. But I found I was flirting too. And I would never, if asked, say that I would ask someone out. For the first time. And - I didn't with Mike. I asked him out on a pretend date.

I'd seen pictures of him - he is very, very cute. I would joke about him having girls all over him. And he'd say not that he'd noticed. He's very shy around girls. So I said, well then go out with me on a 'practice date'. And hey, when girls see you with another girl, that's when they really become interested. He didn't of course take me seriously. He'd never asked me out because he thought I'd say no.

He'd captured my heart online, a year back when he said we should go out sometime for ice-cream. Ice-cream! And he kept with one coincidence and shared connection/silliness after another. With uncovering the depth of his sweetness. With how important relationships are to him. His mix of intelligence and silliness. Patience and the ready passion for what he believed in. But he wasn't real. He was words in a little box. His was a smile made of a semi colon and half a parentheses.

So. I met him and he said I looked exactly as he'd imagined me. And he was solid. Tangible. Not just words in a little box, but a gentle voiced guy. Not just a typed smile, but a ready curve of sweet lips. Revealing small, sharp teeth and a pierced tongue. And it reached his eyes. And I knew. I recognized him at first sight. Recognized him as someone I could fall in love with. It remained to be seen whether or not I would allow myself to.

And he found himself falling too.

I'd 'met my match'. :P

We saw a movie and ate and then just like something out of dream, (with a definite touch of amines), we drove to the park as the day neared its end and he pulled out his guitar and played like an ancient bard. Neoclassical he calls it. I imagined I had stepped into some dream of medieval age as we sat in the green sunlight, the fading sun on the lake behind us.

And a few days later we met again and he told me he loved me asked me to be his girlfriend - not a practice one, not in pretend, but for real and I realized that the dream, unlike that first day had not faded.

Like all females, I've had poetry written for me, I've had professions of love and proposals of marriage. But I finally fell. Against all I set out to avoid over all barriers and fortresses despite - life - I slid tumbled fell helplessly into his heart. I fell and he was there to catch me because he had fallen too.

Its over 14 months later now, and we still miss each other when we are apart. Very much in love, we shunned Valentine's Day. A day whose roots have faded into obscurity. And now we are manipulated by the greeting card companies which have grown fat on our utter willingness to be sheep. Meanwhile diamond manufacturers tell us we really don't love our loved ones if we don't say it with diamonds! Do you realize society and media pulls the strings, and we puppets that we are - are romantic - on cue? And yes I like romance - I'm a total romantic - but who wants manipulated romance? Who wants to be bought flowers or given presents by someone who is doing it because he feels he has to? Sometimes because he fears not to? (not that everyone does)

Not to knock Valentine's Day. It is a day set aside for lovers. Named after someone who married lovers in secret at a time when the Emperor Claudius felt that married men make bad soldiers. We just make every day Valentine's. So its not so much shunning as not differentiating it from every other day. And it is two way. I don't expect him to be the only one. To write me poetry, to send me flowers, to create romantic evenings. I think that's an unfair expectation. And I love doing these things. Giving massages, and smooches, 'affectioning'', each touch an expression. Most romantic of all is this guy I can be silly with, can be myself with, who looks into my eyes and holds my gaze. A love which matches my ideals, a guy who is my hero - always saving the day with smooches and silliness. No matter what the day,

We ignore it because we are romantic naturally. He is always holding my hand, and in touch with me, always kissing me and feels hurt if I sleep away from him. He says I love you often and means it. A very left brained guy, he is going to school majoring in computer science and physics - yet he's written me a poem and sweet e-mails. And all on days not marked on a calendar. And it is him who has brought up the subject of the future...family.

So many talk of the excitement of first time, or of the attention you get from dating many. I would always choose Mike over a thousand exciting first times. I choose a thousand daily affections, soft touch in a darkened room, his sweet soft voice when I am feeling alone saying that word every woman wants to hear in her heart of hearts. 'Moo.'

Not many women are comfortable enough with themselves to admit that last.

And not many guys are comfortable enough with such silly stuffs.

Yes, one of my favorite things about him is his smile. And he smiled. A colon and half a parenthesis.

And he smiled. A ready curve of lips. Revealing small sharp teeth and a pierced tongue. And it reached his eyes. And with them he reached for my heart. And I gave it to him. Forever. For as long as he chooses to accept my offering. He returned in kind, stepping out of his little box and into my heart.

I don't know what the future will bring, I only know he smiled. And the rest is history.

I Found Mr. Right

Story 86

I Found Mr. Right

Our story starts a 14 months ago, I was sitting in front of my computer here in England clicking ignore and clicking ignore from so many perverted guys on ICQ it was crazy!! They all asked the same thing, "Do you have a web cam?" or "What are you wearing?". I was getting really bored with it so decided to sign off, just as I was about to click to close I got a message saying "Hi Kirsty, how are you?" I thought okay, he's different! We started talking and he told me his name was Sean, my brother is called Sean so I carried on talking, he told me he was 24 and from Canada. The more we talked the more friendly we got, we didn't talk every night but whenever he saw me online he would message me and he was a really nice guy. We chatted more over the next couple of weeks and we found out we had a lot in common, he sent me his picture and it was "love at first sight" for me, I sent him mine and he said I had beautiful British eyes.

I had a boyfriend at the time and he had a girlfriend but the more we talked the more in love we fell. Then I suggested that we meet up sometime (this was October 2000). We arranged that I would go to Canada in July 2001 and we would see how we felt about each other in "real life" Then Sean said he couldn't wait until July and that he wanted me there in March. I got my ticket to go on March 23rd, even though I was still with my boyfriend, I went to Canada for a week and that week was the best time of my life. I was completely in love with Sean, he was my Mr. Right!! The hardest thing I did was leaving him at the airport and coming back to England. I cried, he cried!! As soon as I got home I ended it with my boyfriend.

Our photoSean an I were now apart but we loved each other so much we talked EVERY day on the web cam and phone on June 28th 2001, Sean proposed to me on the internet and it was very romantic, he even got down on one knee!! I was so desperate to see him again!! We planned that I would go out there again in September, I couldn't wait!!! I didn't end up going until October 11th because of everything that happened in America. I finally got to Canada (after an 8 hour delay at Manchester!!) it was like we had never been apart, he couldn't stop kissing me and hugging me, he is just adorable. The day I was leaving to come home Sean got down on one knee and held my hand and asked me properly if I would marry him. Of course I said yes and he picked me up and started dancing with me, it was the most perfect moment of my life. He is everything I've ever dreamed of! I've been home for almost a week now and I miss him sooooooooo much you would not believe it!

I'm hoping to go to Canada for Christmas and when I do go I doubt I'll be coming back to England cause I can't bear being without him! I just want to say to people who are going through this that you are all very strong to do it, it's hard, but it's worth it when y'all are together.

God Bless you.
Kirsty

I Found A Sweet Guy

My name is Heather and I met my boyfriend, Matt, now of 8 1/2 months on the internet.

I was in a bad accident may 11 of 2000 and I almost lost my left hand. I was so scared when I got out of the hospital that I was never going to be able to meet a nice guy again or have a relationship with anyone again. One night I decided to stay on the internet for a while longer, and I got this instant message from this person that wanted to talk. So I said yes that I would talk, and that last about all night long into the early morning. Even though I hadn't met him in person, he had already made me feel better about myself. Well, after talking on the internet for awhile, we decide to meet. We were friends for a couple weeks before we started dating.

Then one day he told me that he need a sweet girl in his life and asked me to go out with him. I was so happy!! So, we have been together for about 8 1/2 months and it has been the best 8 months for me ever! I feel like I am a person again. It's like he can overlook the fact about my hand, and not dwell on the fact that there is a big scar on it. He means a lot to me and I'm so glad that I met him.

Everyone says that the internet can be evil, but if you ask me it is good to an extent. He really helped me believe in myself again and not to worry what people thought about my hand. He is a real sweetie and I just want everyone to know that it is possible to find good, nice, sweet guys out there on the internet. He has really helped me through a lot and has saved me from doing a lot of stupid stuff. We are still together and working on 9 months!

Good luck to everyone out there looking for love or just looking for a good friend!!

Sincerely,
Heather
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